In free fall

Wow – time flies!

Since I wrote my last update so much has happened.

We went from Sweden to Guatemala with no other plan than ’to not have a plan’. Something we have told each other and lots of curious people during the past year. We could feel the pull and knew we had to go – but we had no idea what was waiting on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. The only thing we knew was we did not want to make another restaurant. After 2 decades in the restaurant business, we knew we were done.

Initially, we attempted to retain the things that we believed would provide a sense of security. We fought for Stedsans up until the bitter end, because we loved the project, and because we had many obligations to meet but also because it was our job and our ’identity’. Eventually, it was taken away from us and we were in free fall.

We had nothing but a sum of money borrowed from a family member, that was rapidly running out.

Just like we said – we had no plan.

Except for one: To leave it up to spirit to show us our new way. Because nothing else we had ever done seemed to be working out for us.

For decades we had tried to do things ‘the right way.’ We had fought to make money, fought our way through the Corona-years, fought to get justice in an old case with the Danish tax-authorities, fought to be a part of the change for a better world, by creating a project that would inspire our guests to live more in sync with nature, we had fought to build up a good work environment for our team, we had fought to get our health and sanity back after narcissistic abuse, and we had fought to create the good relationship with the authorities that is so vital when you’re a changemaker in that part of the World. (Without the goodwill of the authorities you can lose everything you build overnight – something we have experienced several times).

We were done with fighting.

We were done with just hanging on with the nails.

We were done being exhausted, broke and overwhelmed.

We were done working to ‘safe the World’ while our own World was falling more and more apart. Our kids were getting big – our first child moved away from home a year ago – and we had not had a proper vacation with them, or even just a period free of stress and problems, for almost a decade.

We had done all the things we were told were right, but the result was we always had more and more to struggle with.

How do you know when something isn’t right for you? When all you ever tried didn’t feel quite right. Then maybe that’s just the way life is, you think. Something you must just get used to.

A little voice inside of me got more insisting, that this could not be true.

We had to find another way.

They say that if you don’t know where you’re going, any path will take you there. So that was what we did. Tossed the map away and went into the wilderness, with only hopes but no assurance that we would make it out on the other side. With only a compass to show us the way, set on our true North: A life full of joy, softness, nature, love and freedom.

We’re still in that wilderness, but the clearings are getting bigger, the sun has started shining it’s light on certain spots. Certain road posts and directions started to show up, mainly in the shape of people offering us certain possibilities out of the blue.

First and foremost, our new friend Rolando came to our temporary home on the opposite side of the lake, and offered we could take over his hotel in San Pedro. Rolando is a well-estimated member of the Mayan community here, with several businesses and projects going on, and the hotel was getting too much for him. He offered us a fair monthly rent we could afford on our limited budget, and we made a 5-year contract. The hotel is placed right at the spot we had dreamed of living, next door to the places and dear people our kids spend their days with. It’s a 2-minute walk from the beach and it’s in a quiet place of an otherwise touristic town where the locals treat us like - locals. (Our 3 white-haired girls are already darlings among many here). It’s placed at the foot of the San Pedro volcano, which is not active but for sure carries a pretty wild and untamed energy. We have made the rooftop terrace our living room, and a small food production is under preparation. We live among the birds under the sun and the stars just like we always wanted. And it literally dropped into our lap without any kind of effort from our side. A true gift from spirit, that feels so welcome and soothing after the chaos we have been through lately (and still find ourselves in).

And now we are living a very surprising version of our forever-dream, in the middle of a building project that seems to be turning into a really sweet little design hotel with… a restaurant!

This could be a homecoming in more than one way.

It all begins the day you finally get enough.